Happy 2018, my peeps! I wanted to pop on today to share a bit of a deeper post. I have lots on my mind, so it may seem all over the place, but I feel like maybe some of you can relate. I honestly feel like we just rang in 2017 and here we are a year later. It’s true time flies, then you have kids and I feel like time flies at warp speed. I am about to have a 9 year old and that in itself is shocking. Where did the time go?! I wanted to kick off the new year with a post that has been on my heart lately. I’m in my 6th year of blogging and I truly love what I do. Thanks to lots of hours and hardwork and amazing readers like you, this has turned into a full time job for me. I get to do what I love everyday and I am ever so grateful for that! I feel like December is no doubt the busiest, but best month of the year. But, come December 31st, most of us are breathing a sigh of relief because we’ve run ourselves ragged. It’s definitely a time of reflection as well. Did we follow through with our resolutions and goals? Did we become the better people we planned to be? It’s a lot. And yearly, I find myself pondering why I made resolutions at all because it’s so hard to keep them. I’m one of those people that makes lots and then wonders why I can’t keep them all. So, this year, I’m just not making them. I wanted to share that with you because I think it can be hard to see all the resolutions and goals swirling around on social media and feel inadequate. Like, “so and so is doing xyz” and here I am just sitting here, chilling the first week in January. I’m not hitting the ground running like I feel like I should be, but I actually feel pretty good about it. Then, I see people all over social media, already back at the gym and eating crazy healthy and I’m over here like “I’m not ready! Pass the wine and Christmas cookies, please!” Anyone else? This brings me to my next topic, comparison.
We all struggle with it, even me. Some days, I struggle with it a lot, especially with what I do for a living. As I look at my business goals from last year, one of them did not happen. Don’t get me wrong, I am grateful for this space, for all of you and that this is my job! I wouldn’t be here without you. Thank YOU for that!! I love my job! I can’t seem to grow my Instagram and it nags me daily. I’ve been doing this for over 6 years now, it’s been a full time job since almost the beginning and I see these girls who come in, start blogs and next thing you know, they have 100k plus followers on Instagram. Did they buy their followers? (Did you know you can buy likes and followers??) I don’t know and It’s not my place to judge, but it’s a little hard to swallow for me. It’s really hard to grow organically on Instagram these days, especially when you’ve had an account as long as I have. My goal was to get to 50K in 2016. I was literally at 49.9 and didn’t make it. A few days later, I’m down to 49.7. So, it got me thinking, why am I putting so much stock in these numbers? I have a great following and while, it’s not huge, we are still a tight knit little community here and I love it. So, I’m thinking maybe I’ll stop putting that pressure on myself. No matter how much I try, I can’t control that aspect. I can work my booty off and there’s still things like this that I can’t change. I also need to stop comparing my stomach to the girls who show their abs of steel too. They look amazing, don’t get me wrong (Go girls!!!), but after two kids, that just won’t ever be me, so I’m just going to embrace my flab, too. There’s a little mini resolution. Let go of the numbers, let go of what I can’t change and stop comparing yourself. So much easier said than done, but I really need to try that this year. Let’s make a pact to try and do that together, because I have a feeling I’m not the one comparing myself to others.
While we are on the subject of comparison, I wanted to share a bit about my thoughts on perfection because I feel like they go hand in hand. Again, we live in a world where we are seeing lots of pretty things on social media. That is the beauty of social media. Inspiration, beauty, pretty things to look at. I had a conversation with a friend of mine back in December and I chatted with you guys about it on my Instagram Stories, but I felt like I need to dedicate more to, so that everyone who missed those stories, could read it. So, my sweet friend was complementing me on how fabulous our home looked, all decorated for Christmas. Our CHRISTMAS HOME TOUR post had gone up that week and you guys, I am proud of that post. I truly love our Christmas decor and this room that we photographed is truly one of my favorite rooms in my house. I put my decorations up right after Halloween and almost 2 months later, I truly am not ready to take it down (don’t worry, it’s going away this weekend. ha!). So, after she complemented me, I laughed and said “if only you knew what went down that day!” I was sick as a dog, trying to pretend that I wasn’t. It was the only day that we could coordinate schedules to get this room photographed with our photographer and all 4 of us, so, thanks to Advil and makeup, I powered through a few hours of home pictures, then a family photo session to follow. Real life, you guys. There are no sick days in my line of work and as moms, you know there are also no actual sick days. I’ll admit, I feel like I look awful in the pictures, probably because I felt so awful. Also, in the photos, you don’t see the rest of the house, I had to move all sorts of randomness into our dining room and entryway to get these beautiful shots. Think pillows, stools, blankets, Christmas decor, all piled up in the other rooms. I honestly wish I had thought to take a picture. It was a disaster. Because I was sick, it stayed like that for another week while I was in bed! Ha! I truly loved how these photos turned out of this space. But, this whole conversation got me thinking and I wanted to make sure you guys know that my life is far from perfection. Yes, as bloggers, we post styled shoots a good amount of the time. These are meant to inspire and help us all escape from reality for a bit. I truly love putting together these shoots, whether it’s clothes, home decor, recipes, parties, etc! It is therapeutic for me! Design is a passion of mine. I truly love it and wish I could do more of it. But, deep down, I am that person who loses her phone like 6 times a day, I can never find it. Anyone else? I’m turning into my mom for real. Ha! I almost always have on mismatched socks. My house is far from spotless. I’ll be honest, I thrive in a clean and uncluttered environment. Clutter stresses me out, so I do constantly try to keep our downstairs pretty clutter free, so like our KITCHEN photos? I truly try to keep the kitchen that way on a regular basis. Moving and purging and all, I have really minimized certain aspects of life, so keeping this area clean is easier than it used to be. But, our mudroom? It’s a chaotic mess constantly. No matter how hard I try, it’s our landing area and it’s a mess a lot. I always clean our kitchen, fluff the couch pillows and pick up at night, so that we wake up to a clean space. I swear that is huge for me. A week ago, we had to purge our kids’ rooms because they had just gotten so bad. Their idea of “cleaning” is throwing all their stuff in a corner. Um, no. And yes, we are working on that. Clearly clutter does not stress them out. Ha! I guess the point that I wanted to make is, behind every styled shoot is real life. (And I do try to show my real life chaos on my Instagram Stories, so be sure to follow me to see that!) Real life, with dishes in the sink, things thrown all the counters, Teddy’s shoes everywhere (for some reason, he can’t seem to get them into his mudroom drawer…), etc. My life is far from perfection and while I would be thrilled to have a spotless house 24/7, there’s just no way, with two parents who work full time, two kids and two dogs! There is chaos, there are messes, but there is a lot of love and I think thats what’s important. I love styled shoots. I love seeing our house all spiffy and pretty. I’ve put so much thought and time in designing and decorating all aspects and I truly love sharing these things with you, but, as we begin the new year, I just wanted to give that reminder, when you see a perfectly styled shoot, imagine what the rest of my house looks like. I can gurante you, it’s probably a disaster and there are probably kids being bribed with chocolate chip cookies behind the scenes, to smile.
I came into 2017 having a couple rough years behind me. I was truly ready to move on and have a great year and I can truly say that I did and 2017 was a good one. I felt like I could finally breathe a sigh of relief. I was actually a bit bummed to see the year end, because years prior, I was basically running toward the new year in hopes that it would be better. I wanted to take a few minutes and just tell you how much you all mean to me. I’m so glad you’re here. Some of you have been here since the very beginning and to me, that is amazing. If you are newer here, welcome! We are so glad to have you! You’ll find this space a place of all sorts of things and as always, I share the pretty and the ugly parts of life, because that’s the real stuff. There will be lots of fashion, home, more recipes and more surprises this year. I plan to share more about whats on my heart as well because I think a lot of us can relate to reach other! So, again, thank YOU for being here. Thank you for following along! I truly hope this space is a place you come to feel uplifted and happy! I am grateful to have this community and truly thankful for each and every one of you! Now, lets do this 2018! Here’s to no resolutions, except to just live each day to the fullest! Love you guys! XO!
Outfit Details:
Ashley: TOP // TOP // LEGGINGS // LIPSTICK (color: #49)
Mr. Fancy: SHIRT // SWEATSHIRT // JEANS
Reagan: TOP // LEGGINGS // SIMILAR HEADBAND
I would appreciate and love if you would unblocked me from your Instagram .
Thank you
I’m so glad you wrote this post. I know everyone’s life isn’t perfect but like everyone I do get caught up in how great someone else’s life is or at least looks. For the longest time when I started reading blogs I honestly thought everything I saw in pictures was the “whole story”. I thought the houses looked perfect all the time, everyone had their hair fixed & makeup on all the time, etc. I’m glad I found out differently! Anyway, just wanted to say I’m a long time reader but rarely comment (I don’t know why) & I really enjoy the blog & IG stories & shopping tips & I LOVE Truman!!
Great post, Ashley!
Loved reading this! 2018 is definitely a year for a fresh start!
Question – Is your couch from Grandin Road? If so, what fabric is it and do you like it/is it comfy? Thinking about ordering a new one 🙂 Would love to see how you decorate the entire room!
Xo, Elizabeth
I really appreciated your blog today. I just came from a meeting that my bible study leader was at and she is much wealthier and prettier and younger than me and I just felt like a frump next to her…I have a nice home and great husband, but my life is much different..not nearly as fancy..I guess reading about comparison helped, I like momfessional’s blog and instagram cause she shows the real side of it..messy rooms etc..just wanted to share.
I’m with you girl! I said the same thing to my husband last week…no resolutions this year. It took me many years, but I don’t give a rats a** what anyone thinks …I don’t compare myself to anyone, I just do me and do what’s best for my family. Real life is hard most of the time, thanks for sharing your “real” with us. Happy new year
Thanks for sharing! I like the beautiful paired with occasional reality. It’s a good reminder for all of us that searching for constant perfection only leads to frustrating. Keep doing what you do!
I needed this post! Real talk is not something you see on a lot of these blogs, so it’s always nice to read these honest and raw moments we all go through.
I haven’t been keeping up on my blog reading for awhile, thanks for posting this in your stories, great post.
Thanks for keeping it real. Cheers to 2018 being everything we need. ☺
Love love love this post! Just started following you early in 2017 and I’ve quickly come to love your feed and your realness more than any other! Keep doing what you’re doing…you’re so relatable and easily lovable!!! Happy 2018!!!
I so appreciate this post! Comparison is tough and pops up just when we feel like we’re headed in the right direction. I love your Insta feed and stories – keep on keeping it real! Quality sites like yours are far more fun for readers to engage with than those that are very obviously “bought”!
Thank you for sharing this! Love the honesty and real talk, you are a breath of fresh air and I have loved following you these last several years! Also, I have really been enjoying all your stories and getting a peek into your day!!!!
Your blog and Instagram are real and genuine! Keep up the great work and also keep being yourself!
I get excited when I see ‘fancy’ delivered to my inbox! 🙂 Thanks for all that you do Ashley!
Thank you for your honesty. I gave up on New Year resolutions and it feels great! My children are grown and it’s just my husband and I, but I remember the struggle with trying to keep everything perfect. I really enjoy reading your blog and look forward to reading it!
Thank you so much for this post. You totally nailed right in the head. I turned 40 last April. I’m looking at 41 and just can’t seem to wrap my head around it. I too find that I’m comparing myself to all these young 30 something’s posting their rock hard abs and how fast they lost their baby weight. There just doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day to get my workouts in, much less eat healthy. I work full time for a high school district, attend college class to get my associates degree, I have my amazing husband of 22 years and three amazing boys ages 21, 13 and 9. I’m exhausted all the time. I have a side hustle selling Scentsy products to bring in extra income to
pay for mine and my sons schooling. I can’t seem to grow my IG or FB following. I think I’m just going to close my IG Scentsy account and just keep my personal one. I guess what I’m trying to say in my rant is, I understand exactly what you’re saying. Keep your head up and keep plugging away. I enjoy your blog and your feed. You are by far one of my favorite bloggers.
I love your blog and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE your instastories!!! You are clearly putting your heart and soul into what you do! You’re amazing…I agree with you about comparisons…they never ever help anyone! Just know in your heart that so many people love you and your content AS IS! Just keep doing you…you are unique and lovable!
I love your blog and I think it’s gotten continuously better. Love the mix of fashion and home decor. I think you look fabulous too! Thank you for sharing the reality of life behind the scenes.
Love this post!!
I love following your insta stories! I like your fashion sense as it gives me ideas of cute things to buy! Although I’m a little older than you (my kids are all grown up at 22 and 25) it seems like just yesterday that I was in your place! You seem like you would be such such a nice friend or neighbor so lucky them! I also love seeing your dogs! They are so cute. It is motivating to me when I see all that you can get done in a day! Keep it up!
Thank you for keeping it real!! I enjoy following all your posts that are staged for inspiration and the real life ones too!! Happy 2018!
Love this post as it is a great reminder for all of us every once in a while. Love your blog and insta stories!
Have you heard the saying…Stop comparing other people’s highlight reel to your outtakes.
So so true! Great post.
Thank you SO much for sharing this! I struggle with these feelings every single day. All week I have been in the same place with resolutions and this helped me breathe a sigh of relief to be at peace with not making them!
Great job expressing yourself. For the first time in 30 years of marriage we (meaning I) didn’t send out Christmas cards! Do you know what? The world did not end. The Christmas card police didn’t send me a citation and I doubt anyone realized it. I did however spend more time with friends, watch more Hallmark movies, delivered food to sick friends, etc. and tried to be “present” in the moment. I didn’t always accomplish what I set out to do but I am happy with our December. Instagram and all sorts of social media are fun but they put a lot of pressure on us. Good luck in 2018!
You made me feel so much better about this year! I’m not a huge fan of resolutions such as eating healthy, working out, etc.. but if it works for some people, yay! I’m looking forward to a year of making great memories with the people I love and focusing on what makes me happy! Thank you for sharing, it gave me a boost as I’m sure it did to many others! Keep doing what you’re doing, you always brighten my day ????
Thanks for sharing all of this..I can totally relate! I too am not doing a “goals for 2018” but rather a list of 40 things I hope to mark off/complete by the time I’m 40…(I’ll be 37 this year). With 2 kids (7 and 3) , a husband and our own businesss that’s the season we are in!! Thank you for sharing and for doing what you are doing!!!
I have followed you since I got on Instagram !! As a mother of two grown children yours reminded me of mine the way they played together and were always with you ! I did all the activities and sports and house moving you do and it was a full time job …… SO to have a dynamically successful blog and career giving us daily and faithfully all the fashion health and household tips really is so impressive ashley !!! Honestly I’m so so amazed and proud of you !!! Don’t let anyone get you down !! Be you !!! the FANCY ashley we all adore !!! Now Here’s to a great 2018????????????????????❤️❤️????
This is amazing, thank you! So relatable and honest! Love your “deeper” posts!