why worry?

So, I wanted to cover a few things about the 31 day series that I am doing. You might think that the next few weeks of posts are redundant. I’m hoping they won’t be, but, they just might be. I chose the topic of Finding Peace because it is going to be a challenge for me. I’m not expert in the peace department because I worry wayyyyy too much. I am learning as I go and putting myself out there and sharing my feelings, stories and what is on my heart each day. Picking a topic like this wasn’t an easy decision because I knew that I would struggle with it, yet I chose to do it anyway. The comments and emails that I have received so far have been so encouraging and I really love that you are all here following along and giving your insight into my posts. I also love that so many of you can relate. I feel like we are all on this journey together and I love that! So glad to have  you here! 🙂 I have a feeling this is going to a month where I am constantly going back and forth about pushing the publish button, each day, but here we go! I’m pressing publish.

Why Worry?

I’m a control freak.

Maybe it’s the Virgo in me? I don’t know, but it’s the truth.

I like to be in control or at least, I like to feel like I’m in control. Not being in control=worry. For me, at least.

When I look at the people who I have been surrounded with most of my life, I can’t seem to figure out where the worry trait came from. I can remember worrying a bit, when I was a child. But, not like I do these days.

When I was in college, my mom got sick for the first time. I think that was the first time in my life where I actually realized that I wasn’t invincible, so to speak. I mean, I had witnessed and heard about bad and awful things happening around me, but nothing that directly affected me, until then. And believe me, I know how blessed I am. So, I honestly think I didn’t really understand what all of these people were going through until we experienced something so terrifying in my own family.

My mom getting sick threw me over the edge, so to speak. I think it threw all of my brothers and sisters and I for a loop. It came out of nowhere. I feel like this is the first time in my life that I can remember being terrified and wondering and worrying constantly about what the outcome would be. My mom ended up pulling through and has since pulled through it again. She is one of the strongest people I know, with an amazing faith. During her numerous bouts with cancer, her faith still shined through.

I married a man who is so strong in his faith and I don’t believe I have ever heard him say that he was worried about anything. He is pretty amazing to me. I think having the little presidents has made it worse. I mean, worrying about your kids is a given. Who doesn’t worry about their children from  time to time? I am positive that I worry about them way more than I should, but again, I’m a work in progress.

Do you remember a specific moment or event that caused your worry to go into overdrive?

This is the fourth post in a 31 day post series about Finding Peace.